I am a child, not a bride!!!


A 25 kg bag of maize on her head, baby on her back and walking 10km to the Miller is what this 14 years old life has been reduced to. A mother at a very tender age and a wife to a 35 year old man……..

It was during the 2017 festive season when I took to myself and visited my uncle at the farm.My heart was shattered, child brides are real!! It has turned to be normal in the rural and farm communities. I recall one encounter with a child bride mother who expressed bewilderment to what happened to her daughter. She explained how she had tried to stop the whole ordeal but the police imagine the police, had told her that “her 15 year old was old enough to make her own decisions and if she is willing let her be.” Where is that stated in the law? Why are we still suffering from such a Stone Age practice where the girl child was merely regarded as a sex object?

Everyone must be given an equal chance, early marriage inevitably denies a child their right to education.

Zimbabwe’s new Constitution clearly stipulates that “no person may be compelled to enter marriage against their will”(you can add even the section it’s stated), and calls on the state to ensure that no under age girls are pledged into marriage. Yet according to the Multiple Indication Cluster Survey (MICS) 2014, 31 percent of girls in Zimbabwe are married before 18 years. Of the 31 %, 4% were married before 15 years of age. When a young girl is married and gives birth, the vicious cycle of poverty, poor health, curtailed education, violence, instability, and disregard for rule of law continues into the next generation, especially for any daughters she may have.

Unless governments act decisively, the number of under age girls married will only grow, holding both the girls and their countries back from reaching their full potential.

My heart bleeds for these young souls, considering most of them come from the poorest households. Surely the burden is not easy for them. Instead of focusing on books and playing dress up they are being forced to mature quickly and deal with real life issues that will not only affect their physical well being but psychological too.

They endure abuse from their so called husbands. Domestic violence has engulfed them at a very tender age. They had to learn to fight for their very existence and the men who were supposed to protect them have become their abusers, oh yah sexual predators. Shamelessly breathing on top of her with no remorse, only to satisfy his sexual needs. Psychological health my foot, they do not even care of these child brides mental well being.

All they ever wanted was to have a normal childhood like everyone else. She creams from the depth of her struggles, “I’m a child, do not take away my innocence, do not cut short my childhood by making me a mother. I deserve an equal chance just like every other child. To reach my full potential and fulfil my dreams. I too have aspirations.” But the world is deaf to their pleas, like a voice in the wilderness it goes unheard.

Why is child marriage a critical issue? Well it undermines all global efforts to reduce poverty and boost prosperity as it traps vulnerable individuals in a cycle of poverty. This has to stop for socio-economic development of the nation. We can’t fold our hands and let this barbaric act continue to paralyse every potential of people having a better standard of life.

Time to answer the probing question, What needs to be done to arrest this epidemic?Education is key, focus groups in schools and farm and rural communities teaching the youths of their rights and steps to take when they feel forced into early marriages. There is also a need to improve the economic status of families especially the rural and farm communities. Furthermore making the emergency assistance support accessible to everyone regardless of where they stay and who they are is vital. That way it will be easier for the girls to report any injustices before it actually happen to them. Above all, prayer it answers all things and God is not a man that He should lie. He watches his word to perform what it says.

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It’s definitely not a race!!!

It’s exactly a week after my graduation, I’m peacefully enjoying a great read from Philip M. Marcolin, “GONE, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN”. Suddenly my phone rang…..

Congrats Miss Posh on your graduation says the voice and then next question the one I dreaded the most. So what’s the plan, are you going back to. South Africa or you are staying? Well how I answered doesn’t matter but it surely ignited a fire within me and propelled me to write this piece.

“For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven……” Ecclesiastes 3:1”.
Life is a journey full of lessons, hardships, heartaches, joys, and the roads is never smooth. Everyone works based on their time zones and it’s never a race. We are now accustomed to living on fast forward that we are too blind to all the delays God brings to test our characters.

I always wonder what happened to endurance, we have become impatient species with a very low threshold for discomfort. We finish college and the next thing we are fear gripped . We are scared to take risks for fear of failure and frankly our social circles do not help. What will people think if i take this step? What if I’m not that successful at 25? Will I be labelled a failure🤔?

Time is ticking and we are here to leave a mark. You might seem like you are going nowhere but believe me a journey of a thousand miles begins with a step. We only have one life and others are making progress whilst you are too caught up in your people minding web.

What’s the rush to get to the next level? Who the hell said things should be done according to age. To hell with the society, it’s okay to have all your mates married and you are still single. It doesn’t mean you are behind or rather must hover around looking for a husband in every guy you meet. It took me time to realise that marriage is not an escape for misery, brokeness or joblessness. It’s quite sad how most girls are resorting to marriages because of failing to understand that we all are in different lanes and if your friend is happily married,understand that’s her/his time zone.Enjoy your singleness, enjoy your relationship good or bad, its there to teach you love, compassion and forgiveness. If you are widowed, it’s your journey cherish the moments you spent with the deceased. Never for a second envy your mates life, you do not know what they face behind the closed doors. I have learnt to embrace my season and be happy for the time God has given me to invest in myself and know Him better before I commit to the one He has set apart for me.

“Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another”,…..Marquis de Condorcet. Learn to live life intentionally and thoughtfully, examine who you are and are becoming. It’s okay to be 30 and still staying with your family, to be a single mom and still hope for a wedding one day, to be a goal chaser but still feel stagnant, to be successful and single. We’ve been all thrown into this earth at this exact time for a reason. It’s okay because the good news is God makes all things beautiful in his time. Sipping coffee on a cold rainy day has never been this hard. But the matter at hand was quite sensitive and deep. A friend was trying to get answers to why everyone was moving forward but her life seems stagnant, here I am a new graduate and clueless.

What my friend mentioned was a mirror reflection of my story. I also feel so behind. All my mates own properties, are driving, have stable jobs and are progressing their careers but I’m stuck in my mom’s corner. “I nearly screamed that to her but then I searched my mind for answers and boom there it was. God requires us to be calm in the midst of the storm, are we really being calm and attentive to him? Well social media has taught us to be in that fast and furious lane😃. We all are chasing demons now…..lol

Well y’all probably saying “what the hell is this graduate with no experience whatsoever babbling about?” Fortunately life happened and it taught me what I needed. You might be jobless, confused, broken, diagonised with a terminal illness, dying but the thing is we all are a mess one way or the other and we only live once. Make it worthy while. Write your story, it’s your life and no one is ever going to live it the way you doing it. Accept your journey and pace, spend time appreciating the unfolding beauty and smell the flowers and enjoy the colours of your now. No situation is permanent, your breakthrough is coming. God is just so amazing you know, most of us we are so prideful and arrogant so he is just trying to deal with issues surrounding us before he elevates is. Take the lessons and go further with your life.

Take stock of your life, have you arrived at your destination? Are you always comparing yourself with others? Do you feel like you are stagnant? I bet your answer to most of this is, Yes!
Sad news is nomatter how successful you are, you’ll always feel like there’s something missing. Appreciate what you have and where you are and find a right balance between small things and your greatest purpose. Life is now, never be in a hurry to be on the next stage. The journey is meant to be enjoyed. Intentionality towards life makes comparison unattractive, be thoughtful of life.43C759FE-75E8-4E07-8F1E-682223331D50.jpeg

So what’s new about the “New Year”….

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Wow…..it’s been a minute since I last posted. I hope you all can forgive your girl. Well I’ve been busy on the fast forward lane out of 2017. I honestly couldn’t wait for it to end. Anyone who can relate? Oh my! What a year it was.

Happy new year!!! My inbox is completely flooded with these kind of messages. But this year I decided to be thoughtful about it all. Yes it’s a new year, but what is really new about it? It’s just a year like any other, then this idea struck me. It is new because you choose so. Everything good or bad happen because of the choices we make. If you want 2018 to be a great year then be intentional and live consciously and work hard to make all your resolutions a reality.

What’s your new year’s resolution? Oh this year I want to invest in property, start a business, travel and buy a car. That was me in 2015, did I actually managed to do it. Sad news is hell no! I blamed the economy, the government for my failures.

Failing to plan they say its planning to fail. Resolutions, goals aren’t viable if there is no action plan in place. We all can have million dollar goals but if we fail to come up with a realistic action plan then it’s all in vain. They say the graveyard is the richest place, absolutely because many people died with their dreams.

Do you want to add to the graveyard wealth, I bet your answer is No! It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon and I’m enjoying the sound of silence when suddenly it struck me. Many people do not take time to listen to God. This is the beginning of 2018. What are you doing to prepare yourself for this battle ahead. Are you fit spiritually, emotionally and physically to tackle all your 2018 resolutions.

I’m quite privileged to be part of a church that encourages and foster spiritual growth. We always begin our year with the Daniels fast, to prepare our souls, body and mind for what’s ahead. Have been talking to a few friends from different denominations and they are all fasting. If you not, consider engaging in some form of spiritual growth practice.

God is the author and perfector of our lives, it’s imperative that we seek His guidance first before we try to make our goals work. For it is said in Matthew 6:33…..”Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all will be added unto you”. I believe we need to always be intentional about everything and fast and seek God’s face not because everyone is doing it or the pastor said so. Take time to listen to God, to mend your ways and surrender whatever goals to Him and let Him take the wheel.

We are too fast to doubt God but believe me, all things work together for them that loves the Lord. Cast all your cares to Him for He cares. I was astonished after reading this part, like what was I going all these years. Have I committed it all to God back then maybe I wouldn’t be regretting now.

Every year we make New Year’s resolutions to Motivate is move further. They are the ego desires and we rarely ever ask ourselves the motives or where they are springing from. I noted that most resolutions do not pan out simply because we fail to understand ourselves in relation to them. I believe in order to suceed this year we need to learn to live for the now. Just bring that wandering lamb home to the rest of the herd. It’s good to fantasise but being stuck there is a cocktail for disaster. How can you progress when you live in fantasy? Life is now!

Spirituality matters, it brings meaning to life. And it is the fuel that keeps us going as individuals. Let this 2018 be a beginning of a new season. Learn to pray, fast, give, go to church. Stay connected with the giver of life and be thankful and watch Him elevate you. Do good all the time even to those that seem undeserving.

Additionally Love is free and why withhold it. Show love to as many people in your sphere and let all your deeds be love led. The world needs a new breed of people who are set apart in all ways. Be that generation, it’s time to paint the world with love.

Furthermore it doesn’t kill to be alone. Understand that the few people you keep in your life the less confused you are. This season take time to appreciate the unfolding of things. Do not be a babbling brook, do your things in silence and let Sucess speak for you. It’s easy to get depressed when you have a bunch of friends who are always checking on what you are upto and compare with what they have been doing. Life is too short to be depressed over such petty issues.

Lastly choose the right people to associate with. We always mirror the people we spend most time with. Choose people who challenge you, people who will push you to be the best version of yourself. Never be an eagle that plays with the chicken. Make 2018 work for you, make it all about you and your goals. Constantly revise your action plan and review your goals.

 

YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

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“Life is tough my darling but so are you.”
– Stephanie Bennett-Henry

You are the truest definition of sophistication young lady. Read it and read it again…you are enough! I want it to really sink in. Your skin is glowing, gold dripping of your pores, turning pain wounds into flowers. Love yourself unconditionally girl child, you are unstoppable. That beautiful mind attracts only the best, you are headed for the moon. I saw you troubled, depressed, walking the walk of Shame yet deep inside the lioness wanted to roar. Men look at you lustfully, they can’t let you be. Your curves, your skin and your boobs are all they think of, but wait for that man that will look beyond the exterior. Depression seems the easier route to take than rejection,too caught up in what the society wants you to be you become so scared to show the world who you really are.

Women are deserted and discarded everyday like they are some sort of disposable diapers. But wait young lady for him, because you will mirror his soul. He will look deep into soul, and see the pain behind the smile, the dreams behind all the confusion, the fear behind all the confidence. Young lady I’m no expert but listen and take note God didn’t bring you this far to leave you.

Think of your story, how you got where you are now. Isn’t it all grace? Indeed His grace is sufficient for whatever crazy dream you have. Dream big, refuse to be average. Average is for losers, always aim for the gold, there are too many collecting bronze. Do not entertain any man’s fantasies, you weren’t born to be just a girl any man can have. You have principles, you are a daughter of the Most high God fearfully and wonderfully made you are. You are resilient, destined for only the best of what the future holds. You do not owe anyone a perfect life. We are all a mess in one way or the other, so girl never be pressured by society. Live within your means, set goals and achieve them. Never let anyone make you bend your principles, they are your foundation. Reputation is built and don’t tarnish it over petty social media postings. You have class, don’t let every Tom and Harry into your life. They lower your value without you even noticing it. God didn’t give you your voice to waste it, use it to voice your concerns without demeaning of course. It’s your passport to unlocking doors to your destiny. Know what you need and want in life and never allow people to tag you along. Have a purpose and if it means walking alone to achieve it then do. Jesus didn’t die on the cross with all his disciples mind you! Remember that and make smart moves. All girls are born with amazing abilities, don’t let the world trick you into thinking otherwise. You are a bomb, explode and let the world awaken to who you truly are. Be rebellious(the good kind), be authentic and brave enough not to bow to whatever the system says about how things should be done.

Let’s ignite a fire in this generation that will never be put off. A generation of girls who say no to portraying women as sex objects. We have more to offer rather than our bodies, we are smart, talented and beautiful in ways men can never fathom. 
Above all else pray without ceasing, forgive at all times, show compassion and humour will keep you going when all is a mess. Have a passion to introduce people to God, give freely and expect nothing in return.

 

•|• Dedicated to all the Girls

I’m firmly on the, “I’m enough bandwagon”, helping women to reinvent themselves.#Girlpower #Freespirited #girls#Womenemancipation

 

I AM THAT GIRL: DEAR 25 YEAR OLD POSH

_MG_4975You are officially a year older, how does it feel? I mean, you should be pretty excited. Another year of additional wisdom and understanding right?

I can’t believe you have lived out your first quarter of a century. You have achieved goals and have dreamt up new ones. You have experienced the passion that comes with doing what you love, the dedication and hard work that comes along making your mark in the world. Additionally you have learnt the power of perseverance and determination. You have been hurt, lacked, risked, loved and stayed all night to watch stars and most importantly have challenged yourself to be the best version of yourself. God has amazed you, humbled by people and encouraged by people you least expected and driven to reach your goals and aspirations.

At the very least, I hope you learn to take risks, to wear your heart on your sleeves and to know that failure doesn’t make you a loser and an additional year isn’t by a chance the definition of old. You are extremely resilient, life might not be the way you’ve pictured it but just know something great is just around the corner. God is going to take you places you’ve never imagined.

Always find peace in quiet moments, have intimate moments with God and never allow that little voice of fear rear its ugly head. You are enough, you are a time bomb waiting to explode. Explode and let the world awaken to the true you, brave, authentic and unapologetically herself. Take off the mask the world and society gave you and walk tall in your own skin, be rebellious and ignite a fire in all the girls worldwide. Be grateful always with what you have, a beautiful family that loves you unconditionally, friends that always chuff you, and supportive relatives that seek only to see you succeed. Your past doesn’t matter, your family history doesn’t define you, and you are whoever you want to be. Always remember your only limit is yourself, you are unstoppable, and you can achieve anything you put your mind on. Focus on building a positive mind, make 25 work for you and forget the past failures. Always lean on God, He is constant especially now when everything and everyone is ever-changing. Whenever you feel sad and a little ungrateful, remember there are people who are in worse circumstances than you. Pray for them, your family, friends and those who seek to hurt you. Always seek peace and forgiveness over everything and see the good in everyone regardless of anything.

On another note do not create drama, seriously who needs that! Remember who you are and find someone who compliments you. Never settle for someone who constantly stunt your growth. Be mysterious, work on yourself all the time and be open to growth and transformation. Never race against people’s expectations of you but instead stand to emancipate yourself and set yourself to go big. Cling to your dreams like you would to your breath and never forget to surrender to God. He is the author and perfecter of your life. Principles made you who you are, never compromise, never bend down to the world, man, friends, and family‘s expectations of who you should be. NO!  You are unshakable and that’s how you will stay for the longest time. Embrace your individuality, find someone who has their own passion, dreams, goals, interests, who lives up the meaning of independence of a daily basis. Let me tell you, you deserve a man that will lift you up, help you believe in yourself, remind you fairy tales do exist and that you can have your own Nicholas Sparks tale, but it’ll be even better cause it will be your own. Most importantly find someone who loves God and always bear in mind that you do not need a man or anyone to complete you, they are just icing on the cake.

I took life so serious you know but I want you to live, you are a Free Spirited Black Girl whose aspirations are too big to be accommodated anywhere. Travel, take violin lessons, and dance more (yeah right! In the rain of cause) sing more (even though you suck at it), take cooking lessons (you wouldn’t want your little angels to despise your food, would you?), just live freely. Learn a new language, eat more fries, cakes and chocolates without worrying about your weight, Just live girl!!!! #BecauseYOLO

Make your 25th year be more about you, be less afraid, dive into new waters, relocate, find new love, it’s a new beginning, throw caution to the wind and reach the pinnacle of your life.  You have to learn to love yourself before you can expect someone else to love you.You are beautiful, strong, intelligent, witty, sarcastic, funny and worthy. You’re a genuinely beautiful soul and a fantastic woman, so please believe in yourself, and to hell with haters. Going forth, strive to stand against anything that comes between your relationship with God, against fear and learn to start each day with a smile and a grateful heart. Always make others feel great around you, never be mean to anyone. I’m proud of the women you are becoming, never stop inspiring others girls out there.

Yours faithfully

24 year old Posh

Mr Unavailable

This is my life story and experience with Mr Unavailable, the man I loved more than life itself. In all honest I don’t even know what the point of our relationship was, cause he literally wasn’t available emotionally and spiritually. He literally played me you know, like a fool. There is absolutely nothing to write home about, just empty promises that were said in the heat of emotions. Blindly in love I was, only to be told was building castles in the air. All the signs were there but my love for Mr Unavailables was too deep to take notice. Making excuses for him was the order of the day and defending him to my friends and family was my full time job. He was all I wanted, I even pictured how our kids would look and how happy we were gone be. Pretty much sound like you right!!! Yes we all have that one guy who lied to us, played us and left us really broken. Is it mere cruelty to make emotional promises without meaning it, do they even know the consequences of their actions! They say girls are too emotional, but I say they love hard! Well the good news is what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and those that leave you clearly don’t deserve you.

Love instead of wondering why on earth he doesn’t want you, ask yourself why the hell you want him and why you want him to want you! Is he God😃that you cant live without. That realisation propelled me to stand firm on my decision to leave Mr Unavailable. I paused and pounded, why do I need him? It took me hours to realise that besides this feeling I assumed to be love there was nothing really to hold on to. Mr Unavailable wasn’t for me and we never shared any special connection im pretty sure it was all in my head. Dealing with the dreams I had was the most difficult thing than the actual breakup. He was too busy for quality but I understood thinking were working towards building a future together. I put him first before making any decision in my life but to him I was just a mere option. The girl he sees when he is bored, out of options and just to wail up time. I did all I can to be the best girlfriend but all my efforts were in vain. He would rather be in other girls’ company than with me. I blindly ignored all the red flags cause I thought I could fix Mr Unavailable to be my Mr Right. Well sadly I was wrong! I wasted my time and energy on someone who never saw any good in me.

The word of God has been my pillar of strength, I realised that wanting people that do not love, respect or value you is a surefire sign that you lack self love. I’m learning to love myself not to let anyone half love me me, the peace i have in this singleness period is unexplainable. I no longer hold anything against Mr Unavailable. I’m completely at peace and quite proud of myself for letting go. Mr Unavailable cared less about how I felt, I just thank God that though he tried he never managed to get his way with me physically. Being someone’s second best hurts and knowing that they had the nerve to be with someone else whilst they were with you hurts even more. I couldn’t believe it when I was told that he was seeing someone else, it was like a bad dream i wanted to wake up from. We never were the perfect couple but him moving on so quickly and without even informing me was too brutal. I lost myself, the pain was unbearable. Flashes of what he promised haunted me. I couldn’t look myself in the mirror for days, I felt like a part of me was taken away. I cried myself to sleep but one day I started seeing why God wanted it to end. He loves me to an extent that he didn’t want me to settle for Mr Unavailable. I’m indeed his royal priesthood, a chosen generation. He didn’t want me to be stuck with someone who doesn’t enjoy me. I bowed, raised my hands to the heaven and wept.Those were tears of joy, I suddenly started feeling so at peace with whatever Mr Unavailable had done. It somehow felt so right, I thanked him for choosing someone else over me. I started seen why God wanted me to be alone in this season. God brought people into my life who continually challenge my growth daily. My focus has shifted and my gaze is on God who is perfecting me. I believe my purpose is bigger than my pain, whatever happened was there to prepare me for what’s coming. I’m patiently waiting on God’s best for me and the wait has never been this fulfilling. My advise to those who are or have been in this space is let God in. There is a void that only God can fill, once you understand this it’s easy to love and be loved.

Written by Portia Gabriella Mazonde
Inspired by her real life experience.